Confidence in your Personal Strength

In my freshman year of college, I took creative writing class, and I had a professor who made me lose confidence in who I was as a writer. Writing has always been the way that I connect with the world around me. When I was four, and upset with my mom because she had only tucked me in four times instead of the required five, I would write an angrily worded letter and leave it on the fridge for her to see. When I was struggling with my mental health and didn’t have the words to speak about these strong emotions to my parents or therapists, I wrote them down as poems and short stories to share that gave a window into my mind. Writing saved me, and since that class I have forgotten that fact, and also the fact that I am a legendary mother ******* (can you curse on your own blog?) writer.

For this blog post, I decided to share with you one of my favorite pieces I’ve written. I wrote it for that creative writing class. The assignment was to write a poem, then use those same sentences, but backwards. I was excited about this poem; I received so many props from family and friends who had read it, but the worst thing happened: My professor misunderstood it, and I was graded based on his misunderstandings. I kept that with me for the rest of the semester and lost a bit of confidence in who I was. Our final project was to revise one of the works we were poorly graded on, so I wrote the poem in a way that I thought he might understand better, a way that wasn’t representative of me, but more of maybe who I was afraid he thought I was, he preffered this version. I am confident enough now to share these with you. The poems are listed here in order of submission: The Original, The Backwards, and The “Revision”.

My Mother Said I Was Precocious

To experience one not cursed with the burden of what we did. Never a precious moment to savor a cup of femininity. Having to spruce up a tainted fantasy of lies to get a revelation. Pieces of a prophecy crushed into the morbid sand. But this one would change the narrative. She resurrected a circus of operatic rocks and golden rain. A pink blade of grass forcing the wind to crumble. Skin of the earth crafted from a divine source. Created to instruct the stars on forgiveness and empathy. Destroying the lurkers that occupied her hope. The embodiment of the seeker in my dreams. How does she know to bite the tears of the cosmos? Who told her she could rearrange the pieces of time? “My mother.”

A Mother’s Quest to Become A Better Mother

My mother. Who told her that she could rearrange the pieces of time? How does she know to bite the tears of the cosmos? The embodiment of the seeker in my dreams. Destroying the lurkers that occupied her hope. Created to instruct the stars on forgiveness and empathy. Skin of the Earth crafted from a divine source. A black blade of grass forcing the wind to crumble. She resurrected a circus of operatic rocks and golden rain. But this one would change the narrative. Pieces of a prophecy crushed into the morbid sand. Having to spruce up a tainted fantasy of lies to get a revelation. Never a precious moment to savor a cup of femininity. To experience one not cursed with the burden of that we did.

Her Mama Said She Smart

This chick act like them white people ain’t done nun to her ancestors. She don’t even be actin’ like a girl for real. She used to lie about her childhood to them folk at school but they ain’t even care no how. She think she different cause she watch Adventure Time instead of Greys Anatomy. She is different though, i ain’t never met nobody like her. She be using crystals and shit cause she one of dem withchy girls. She bold too, she just be talking.  Pretty brown skin too, she kinda fine. She nice or whatever but if you piss her off, ur blocked. To be honest I’m tryna be like her. How she always chill when shit gets crazy? Who said she could do what she want like nobody give a fuck? “Girl her mama did!”

I hope you enjoyed these works of my soul. Remember to never sell your soul short. Not everyone will understand you and your work. Find your confidence, because as long as YOU understand YOU, your power is endless. Stay Alive and be All Over! Thank you for reading!